My Dear Son Hayes, The pain of losing you is just unbearable but I know I must try my best to give Bethany the wonderful life and opportunities that Scott and I gave you. Each morning and every night I pray to you and God to give me the strength to get through another day! Some how I make it, but my heart isn't there. My heart broke into a thousand pieces on Jan. 27,2002 and it will "NEVER" mend back. I don't know why God wanted you but I want you back so badly. If it were true that parent could die from grieving so much, I'd already be reunited with you. I KNOW each and everyday, I'm at least a day closer to being with you again and leaving all the pain behind. Hayes, you brought me so much happiness and joy for 16 - 1/2 years and you were just taken away for me in the blink of an eye. Oh how I just want to touch you, kiss you, hug you, and hear your voice, if just for one last time. This will be my 2nd Christmas without you and I haven't put a tree up or decorated outside since you left. You and Scott always complained because I wanted so many decorations outside in the lawn and on the house.. You're probably looking down saying, "Damn, why did she NOT want them when I was there"! I still laugh at remembering you having to climb the ladder while Scott held it for you on top of the roof so you could get the lights into the peaks of the house. You hated that because you were so far up off the ground. Hayes, as I try to get through another Christmas without you, PLEASE send me some strength! I think back at our last Christmas together in 2001. We had so much fun shopping for all your clothes at Ambercrombie. Scott and I had already spent alot and then with you switching to a private school at Christmas time, you and I had to sneak and do more shopping together. I THANK God, for making our last Christmas together one of best! All of the new clothes and that Ambercrombie coat you just had to have is still hanging in your closet. I'll hold onto them until the day I die! Hayes, always remember that I LOVE you so very much and I miss you terribly. Merry Christmas HAYES! Love, Mama Hayes ~ Christmas 1986 ~ Hayes ~ Christmas 1986 ~ Hayes, Mama, & Bethany ~ Christmas 1990 ~ Hayes ~ Christmas 2000 ~ Hayes ~ Christmas 2003 ~ Hayes ~ Christmas 2003 ~ Made with love by your mom, Beth Thank you Twila Thank you Susie Thank you Elaine Thank you Elaine Thank you Ann Thank you Tia Christmas Without Me Do tears blur the colors of Christmas lights and carols make you sigh? Are you saddened because it's Christmas and I am not nearby? Do you think of all the joyous times we shared in seasons past? Does the ache feeling overwhelming seem like it will always last? Please don't weep for me. Know this Christmas is my best. At this Christmas dinner I'm seated with the honored guest If the tears you cry are for you, lonely without me today to share this year's season, then listen to what I say. God's gift that first Christmas was much more than His son. He gave to us the promise of eternal life for everyone. Now that I've gone on and received that promised gift of life, I'm very much a part of the Christmas spirit light. I'm the angel sitting on top of a decorated tree And a simple Christmas carol sung by a child so reverently. I'm the Santa on the corner standing and ringing his bell. I'm in that Christmas Eve story that you know so well. I'm in every sight and sound that brings people Christmas joy. I'm a smile on the face of a child who received a much loved toy. Now that I'm part of the season we loved and shared so much, Close your eyes, think of me. Reach out and feel my touch. Please share in all the joy I'm feeling being a part of Christmas cheer. Look around and you'll find me. Joyous Christmas, for I am near. Used with permission by, Cheri' C. Bown You are listening to "I Miss You Most", by Mariah Carey